I am always a big one to talk about paying attention to the signs, signals and messages the universe, your inner guidance or as I like to call it your Power Partner sends that show you which path to follow. But there are times when those messages get confusing or maybe its me getting in the way and making them confusing. Either way when this happens it usually means I am not clear about what I want to manifest so I am receiving mixed indications of where to go. I have learned over the years that for me to gain clarity about something I need to ask for it either through meditation, automatic writing or by being silent and listening for the whispers of my heart. I usually meditate as this is always my first choice to get answers or clarity although there are times when I can’t seem to quiet my mind enough to hear my inner guidance. When that happens I turn to automatic writing so this is the reason for today’s blog.
I heard my spirit calling me to honor my gifts and ‘BE’ of service to the world about two years ago. So I left my corporate job and started my own reiki business and the journey I have been on since I made that decision has enlightened, enriched and propelled my life experience beyond that which I could ever imagine. I have been able to understand what it means to ‘BE’ of service and how gratifying and fulfilled I have become in doing so. My creativity has jumped in ways I have always dreamed, my inspiration and motivation have become free to express themselves in ways greater than anything I have ever imagined and my passion to live an inspired life has made my heart sing songs the angels hale as awesome. By all experiential accounts I have been living the dream of my life. So where has the financial prosperity gone? For some reason it has eluded me on this journey thus far which brings me to my current situation.
Now don’t get me wrong, the universe has somehow provided for me during this time and every month I am able to pay my bills and with the exception of one or two trips to the food bank I have received enough abundance to survive. However, I want to do more than just survive, I want to live life to its fullest traveling abroad with enough financial prosperity to not only support me but to be able share with those in need, to buy property and build the healing center I have always dreamed of running and to make a difference in the lives of others. So on 11-11-11 during my monthly prayer circle with Jennifer McLean I set my intention to discover how I can do what I love to do, using my gifts to heal the world and be able to receive enough financial abundance to make all my dreams come true.
Well that evening I received an email from a recruiting company about a job opening that I am perfectly qualified. It would be doing what I used to do in my last corporate job but with alot more freedom and for a smaller company. Since I had just asked to be shown how I can do what I love and receive financial abundance while doing so I took it as a sign that I should apply and two days later received a call for an interview. After the initial phone screening I was rather excited at the potential opportunity and the money I would be making would definitely be a good thing but I would have to put my reiki business on a weekend and evening only status. Is that something I would want to do? Is that something I could do? I wasn’t sure because I have been down this road before. This is the 3rd time I have left my corporate job to do something I was being called by my heart and spirit to do and every single time I ended up going back to working in my corporate background. So it is obvious this is a pattern in my life and this is the first time I have been working at what I love doing for two years before considering going back.
Well the day before all this happened I received a healing session from my spiritual guidance counselor and she told me I should get a job doing something I am passionate about and do my reiki part-time. Now when she told me this I was not happy. This was not something I wanted to hear or even consider for it did not make my heart sing or bring my spirit fulfillment like what I have been doing. This is why I asked for guidance during my 11-11-11 prayer circle.
A couple of days after all this happened I perforated my eardrum. Now I knew the ear situation was a pretty profound sign or message from the universe because when we don’t pay attention to the messages we receive in our outer world alot of times our body starts to manifest signs to gain our attention at a greater level. So when I look at what I was creating with my ears I had to question why my ears? What do the ears represent? They are all about hearing so what is it that I don’t want to hear and why? Does this new condition mean I don’t want to go back to a corporate job and shouldn’t or does it mean I should go back to a corporate job but I am having a hard time coming to terms with it?
This brings us to today. This morning the company called me and said they want to move me to the next level of the interview process and have asked me to create a curriculum outline for a specific type of training class within the next 24 hours and send it to them. Now this is something I have experience in doing so it shouldn’t be a very difficult task for me to do, however after getting off the phone with the recruiter I instantly began to feel very stressed out. I started feeling anxious, overwhelmed and sadly filled with all kinds of negative emotions. It was at this time my husband was getting ready to leave the house and he came over to me, kissed me goodbye and while giving me a hug said, “Honey, you don’t have to do this if it doesn’t feel right. Remember it’s supposed to be easy.” As soon as he said this I felt a weight lift off me, I felt a whoosh of energy waft through my body and take away al the heaviness I was experiencing.
It was obvious I was receiving all the signs that I needed to know what I should do but following the guidance I was being given is another subject all together. So what if I did move forward with the job? #1 – There’s no guarantee I would get it. #2 – If I did get it all my financial problems would go away, I could buy a car of which I do not have right now. #3 – I would be doing something I am already familiar with and be doing it for a different company. #4 – There would be very little business travel. So all of these things sound like really good reasons to take the job.
On the other hand if I was to get the job I would have to #1 – Put my reiki business on hold or do it part-time in the evenings and on weekends. #2 – Repeat the same pattern I have always repeated and the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect different results. #3 – I would have to sacrifice my spirits calling and my hearts fulfillment for serving others for the betterment of the world in exchange for money and an 8-5 job working for someone else. #4 – I would have to give up living the life of my dreams. Hence my dilemma!
Well as the universe would have it earlier today one of my clients came over for a session and sometimes angels shows up in the most unusual ways to gently lift us out of the fog and place us back in the loving hands of god. While sharing my conundrum with this person he reminded me that whenever I worked in corporate america there were two key things that I did not like. #1 – I could not be who I am. I always had to pretend to be someone else because the people I worked with were so disconnected from their spirits that they could not accept me for who I am a very spiritually connected, intuitive, creative, inspirational people person and as a valued contributing asset to the company’s success because I was considered a freak or weirdo simply because I understood how the universe and energy works and practiced the law of attraction everyday. This was a big hinderance in my ability to move up the corporate ladder. #2 – It was very energetically draining to live and work in an environment where people are so attached to the fear based rules of our society. There was always a lack of everything in business. A lack of customers, a lack of profits, a lack of market share, a lack of value in what you do, a lack of opportunities, etc! So everything was fear based, every action, idea and strategy was fear-based and I was almost always alone in my beliefs of how the world operates from love.
Well after his loving way of reminding me of this I remembered I was called to do this from a source that is much greater than I and to date everything I needed has been provided for which is the way it’s supposed to be when you are doing what you are called to do. The only thing missing was I wanted more abundance, so why couldn’t I create more abundance without getting a corporate job and repeating all my old patterns? Why couldn’t I create financial abundance while doing what I am being called to do it?
It was at this moment I realized I was being given a tremendous opportunity to break free from all my old patterns and miscreations and reinvent myself, adventure into the unknown where all my dreams can and will come true. So why was I so afraid? Because I am on the verge of jumping off the cliff of everything I know and venture where no man has gone before (so to speak) where trust is my safety net, doing what I love is the fuel for my soul and the clients I help are the sustenance of my existence. So with that I called the company and rescinded my resume and made a big fat statement to the universe that I am hear to do that which I came here to do.
Now some of you may call my crazy for saying NO to what may appear to be a financially abundant no brainer and saying Yes to uncharted territory forging forth as a pioneer in the new world. All I have to say to those of you who do not understand is Let the manifesting of abundance begin!
Namaste’
